macchia

My Story

I was 6 years old, that room in my parents house was locked, but the key was always there. The room was green, with an old mirror that became a door to “something else”. I used to go there to disappear, no time, no space, no thinking, all disappeared just by pressing the play button. Music started my travel, this intuitive, improvised dance.
It took me years to learn forms, the formal dance, Ballet, Jazz, Hip Hop, I traveled into many countries to see, research, learn, then in Germany I met contemporary dance and I fell in love with its freedom.
But let's go back to the green room in my parents house, at that time my best friend Anna invited me to her performance, she attended the best dance school in Udine, my little city near Venice. I saw experienced dancers, emotions, I was caught by what was exiting their bodies, and entering mine. I went in that school, I was shy, tiny, a former professional dancer, Bianca Walcher, gave me the best parts in all ballets.
Soon they put me in one of the best classes, I skipped 3 levels. At that point my dance-and-schoolmates started to hate me, I did not have any best friend because I played with everybody and I loved to be by myself. Once all classmates wanted to beat me up, I remember getting out from the classroom and they were all there, staring at me, I slowly walked through them, calm and staring back, such a fear inside that they didn’t notice: nobody touched me.

I was 17 years old and I had been dancing for 11 years, I was attending my 3rd year at classical Lyceum, as the idea of going away entered my mind. I remember saying to my mother:“Mum I want to go to Milan, to study dance.” She cried since she knew I decided to be an artist not to work in her shop.
My mother has an exquisite taste, she still has her wedding gift shop, and she still plays piano, when she feels like. My father, a general in Italian army, died as I was 12, he served in the world war II in Libya, and was imprisoned for 7 years in India, he was much older than my mum, but he was playing like a kid with me and my older brother Marcello.
So I went to Milan, I studied with a great french teacher, Sylvie Meugeolle, and I went to Rome the following year where I finished my school studies. It was hard studying Greek, Latin till midnight, taking dance classes every day, washing my clothes by hands, cleaning up…but I was dancing!!!!
Once graduated from high school I went to France to become a dance teacher, by a Jazz dance icon, Serge Alzetta. Soon I realized though I wanted to perform, Serge chose me for his company and all this pushed me further.
I went then to Paris I was taking class with a black American teacher. I was captured by his different energy and dance perception, I felt Americans had a more open approach to dance so I said : “Mum, I go to New York!”. I was 20 I enrolled at University of Foreign Languages and Literature in Udine, and I left.

I arrived to Steps studio in New York I cried, I could not even do the warm up right, classes were fast and difficult. Few months later they offered me a scholarship, I studied with Milton Myers – my icon, Max Stone, and the best teachers in town for me at that time. After 6 months I came back to Europe passing three exams at university and started auditioning and teaching.

One day Dahlia, my Italian friend met in New York, called me: they needed one more dancer for a TV show in Croatia. I went auditioning, but as I arrived the choreographer left. I knew I was not ready, but as I entered the TV studio I felt the great opportunity and I proposed Denis Latin, the journalist conducting the show, to choreograph just for one episode, so that he could see my work. He agreed and later he gave me a contract, a room in a hotel, and really good payment, I felt complete, I was the new choreographer, I created 4 choreographies per week, hard work!

Later in summer I went to Portugal for a dance project in Algarve, we performed each night, the place was different, sea, sun, many colors. Portuguese people are bizarre, once a boy asked my to taste the ice cream I was eating, he licked my ice, I was staring at my licked iced as he told me: “good night and dream about angels!” and he left. There, I fell in love with a German set designer, Stephan, who invited me to Cologne.

Germany represented a great change, I was 25. I met contemporary dance, I was enchanted by Tanztheater icon, Pina Bausch and by the complexity of her work, her powerful and intimate dancers used voice, movement, amazing content. Also I was fed up of being the pretty sexy girl in German TV shows, I was performing, choreographing and working as translator at Cologne Fair when I married with Kais, a special guy. I will never forget our first 40 square meters house, a tiny mirror on the wall, I had three square meters to create my dance works. Then I won the first place in NRW dance competition and it was a great feeling especially because I decided to win. Crazy but when you decide beforehand, you engage differently, and you get great results.

Soon I wanted to deepen my studies in contemporary dance, I left for London, I actually auditioned in Berlin for Laban dance school, I was 32. I had fever that day and in the night I dreamt about a man coming to me and saying that I was not chosen. The following day, the man I dreamt about came towards me and told me that I had been taken, wooow!!!
Laban studies changed my perception of dance, gave me vital instruments to expand my way of choreographing. Laban, pioneer of contemporary dance in Europe, developed many theories that Rosemary Brandt, Melanie Clark, Valery Preston Dunlop, amazing teachers, taught me. Rosemary made me rethink movement in all its details. Unfortunately my urge for freedom made me run away even from there, I have never been an easy student.
So Laban end year performance arrived, I was performing in 8 projects and in that night my brother Marcello drove by car through the English channel tunnel and brought me to Arnhem, in Holland. We traveled all night long because there were no flights or trains available and I wanted to audition for a Master in choreography the day after.

We were 10 candidates and there was place for 3, I slept just 2 hours, by the interview I was the last. I was falling asleep, I said to myself, I can convince them in 15 minutes. So, as usual, I was very direct and I told them that I had things to say, otherwise I would remain in silence, I would not move, create, research, and I got in!!!
Well this was a bittersweet experience, I wanted to get rid of my old way of choreographing, I wanted to create my new language, great inspirator for that was Dr. Kent De Spain, PhD in solo improvisation.
Dance Unlimited Master program, led by Joao Da Silva, pushed artists to be original, unique, complex, strong. Mary O’Donnell, an innovative artist from the 70s, gave me immense insight, and brilliant inspiration. She knew personally Merce Cunningham, this great post modern artist, through her I understood his work and my dance differently.
My final thesis was and expression of my change: “Dance: a porous dialogue between body, mind and amplified awareness”. My dance became a synthesis of what the mind decides to perform, what the body feels to perform, what amplified awareness foresees and allows inside the performer. I was 37, and after 20 years around the world, my mother got ill, I did not want to lose her, I came back to Italy.

I fought against all and now in 2018 she is fine. I opened my dance Atelier in Udine in 2012, I successfully prepared 9 talented students so they had been taken in national and international dance academies. Now after ten years of teaching, I am here writing and rethinking, ready for a change.
I got terribly inspired by a great painter and art curator Sergio Gomez and his wife the Psychologist Dr. Janina Gomez, they are helping me emerging anew through their artnxtlevel online platform for artists.
I am also immensely inspired by a social network platform that since 1959 has been representing a new philosophy and lifestyle perfect for outsiders, people who want difference. It is about sharing, amplifying mind, helping people, sharing world resources in order to live through higher thought standards.
Mind creates matter, Plato and the latest scientific findings say the same: our thoughts create our reality. Well in this network I met amazing thinkers and dreamers: GianPaolo and Manuela Battello, Stefano Pidalà, Patrizia Narduzzi, Deborah de Sabbata.
Finally, what to say, I am here and I am a traveler between worlds which I don't belong to, and I still love to dissolve through that old mirror in my little green room.